Level of Consciousness

Full disclaimer; This blog was written for all the people out there afraid to live their lives. It can be difficult making the decision to look at yourself, accept yourself and not give a damn what folks think about your journey. When someone sees you smiling they assume you’re not struggling. Since starting trauma therapy the shadow work has allowed me to bring things from the basement of my mental house.

As a child I’d wake up early everyday and still do with a zealous attitude. Matter of fact I’m writing this to the sound of the birds singing which fills my heart with joy. Having a combination of being country born then city raised keeps me happy because I’m not fearful to move with nature. It keeps me grounded in how precious life is, material things can be replaced and rebuilt. One day while living in the Midwest I watched a female cardinal signal for help while a hawk devoured her chicklet. No trigger warning over here, this is real life shit. The next morning I heard her singing after such despair but my heart weeped.

Witnessing that helped me realize that the cardinal still had to be her. That spiritual experience gave me clarity about what’s important. Losing someone tragically cuts like a knife. It rips your heart into pieces making you want to die. When my mother died I felt that way. I actually attempted suicide after her death at 19, I’m over 50 now. My father's Jedi mind tricked that thinking immediately, telling me to never harm myself again. Guess what else he told me to do instead? Yeah he was that type of man that knew his DNA will live forever in me along with his behavior via proxy. His consciousness was at times high vibrating however when he was low vibrational he’d act as an extremely dangerous Being.

Everyone has this type of ego in them, some just never experience something traumatic that makes them act out negatively. For my father he’d witness violence against the women he loved the most: his mother and oldest sister. This caused him to respond in what some may consider “Lizard Brain” thinking Google it. His coddling after his mother’s death via his mother’s many sisters allowed him to have compassion for those closest to him with a cost. None of us were ever spared of his wrath when we did something that irritated his ego. We'd become a part of his prey.

What my father didn’t live long enough to know is that his spectacular daughter (that’s me)has been studying Self to share with the masses to adjust this dangerous paradigm. Or maybe he did but did not care since he was in a continued mindful hell based on the chart below developed by Dr. David R. Hawkins(Google’s the “Map of Consciousness”.https://life-longlearner.com/how-to-measure-consciousness-using-the-map-of-consciousness-3-of-7/ In hindsight he probably never elevated above pride. Not even when fully immersed in his religious practice. When I review my studies for holistic life coaching this model isn’t included fully. It does give some connection to the “I Won’t” or “I Can’t” pre-contemplation of making substantial changes and gauging where someone is on that paradigm.

Most melanated communities in the US are living in the survival paradigm when you are fully conscious you see it. This mindset is very fitting when you live with substantial social, health, emotional, economical, developmental differences in a place that denies it. Hope you’re following what I’m doing here. If not, maybe it’s your ego or one dimensional perspective that needs adjusting for the survival of humanity. Please refer to my writing pieces if you happen to have stumbled upon this and have know idea what my agenda is. Here’s quick refresher #selfsoulja it’s about working on Self instead of looking at others.

It’s about changing the egoism that exists in this world which has everyone separated, not caring about their life force or anyone else. It’s about how we forget we all are human, not fancy items, homes, jobs, technology and cars. If you look at this chart and see your place in the lower eight energies you can change that. It takes shadow work, quiet time, Self reflection, accountability, grace, honesty for those that love you most and practice. That’s the first and most important stage before changing eating or exercising. The ultimate goal of this platform is to encourage and teach another way to find enlightenment on this scale or somewhere in that area. It’s a road often misunderstood since we’ve been programmed to listen to naysayers, overseers, and gatekeepers' opinions on our decisions and existence.

If we remain true to ourselves, happiness, a peaceful mind, putting those shadows to rest, accepting the past, leaning into our purpose we all can collectively move into the reason & integrity space that allows for forgiveness, understanding, optimism, trust, affirming all that gives hope to the hopeless. Those of us that have experienced horrid, traumatic, terrifying, memory blackouts are here to ease the suffering of those that want it. Most of us have freed our mind of the dangerous feelings and thoughts planted by our parents, spouses, family and everyday human interactions.

This was done so we’re not the menace to society like my father. Yes we all can be high vibrational then dip swiftly into purgatory on a mad day. The recovery is the comeback based on my own experiences. My parents, especially my father, allowed his super ego to become a super villain for many Souls. As his child I used to hold guilt for that second to the lowest on the chart for decades. Today I am over that feeling and have released the guilt via trauma therapy specifically. I did nothing wrong. I was the child of gangsters not by my doing however they created a complex human. If you think I determined my current level on that scale you’d be wrong.

Having an ego that respects the opinions of those that love me, it was their gauging not mine. They placed honestly where they thought I was by texting the name of the level they saw me at. If you read the “The Resurrection Has Begun” piece as well as the syllabus for smashing ego you had to ask someone that loved you if you had an ego that needed addressing. Did you do that? Are you serious about higher Self purpose and elevation? Is your ego stopping you from being your authentic Self? Share this map of consciousness with someone so you can see what they think. #theeducatedtrophywife challenges all of you to make it a conversation piece.

It may save a life, a child, a hood or a home. If you want to avoid this change it’s understood everyone has their own challenges. Remember no heat, no hate, no judgment. I was once in the same place as you or worse. For more understanding of my origin, why and how I arrived here check out my interview on the @Loosely Speaking Podcast with @nathanhowell and @royneilmccullen as we talk about my platform, life past and present. Thank you for pulling up and reading my way of educating the masses. Share if you care! Be the Change you want to See and the 💡you want to be!✌🏾

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