Love Dust-Updated 2/12/2024

Originally written 2-26-2018

Tomorrow marks two weeks since I abruptly ended a relationship with my high school sweetheart (HSSH). I am so much happier now and thankful that I no longer wake up wishing I was someplace else. As I inhale and exhale I’m overcome with “Love Dust”. Particles of a love that once existed.

Love is a strange emotion. It can leave you confused, hurt, happy, angry, passionate, bashful, shy, aggressive, crazy, and wiser. When you love someone you may believe your love will be enough to help them overcome their disappointments. We hold on to the possibilities that a body snatcher will replace them as they sleep so they’ll wake up peaceful and refreshed.

Unfortunately this is a false reality. There will be no quick fix. That person is incapable of embracing you as their quiet time. Being THEEDUCATEDTROPHYWIFE I take pride in keeping my mate peaceful. It’s my absolute desire to provide a place stress free, calm, clean, happy, comfortable, relaxing, and secondary to heaven (if it exists). HSSH wanted this life but he’d been hurt deeply over time allowing him to accumulate a mountain of “Love Dust”.

Before I moved out of the marital home I cleaned ALL the “Love Dust” out from Xhub! That relationship was being dusted off over time. HSSH has yet to understand what you put out is what you shall receive. With each letdown, rejection, and hurt I just kept some Clorox wipes! Ha! “Love Dust '' don't live here no more!

Updated 1-23-2024

Since writing the above blog I’ve moved on with my life in a positive direction. Looking back on this experience, learning more about what I require from a mate has changed greatly. In order for me to grow in this lane I had to focus on my healing for a better selection of a mate. When I was in this relationship I was not fully happy. I’d basically gone to another man that had some of the same issues my X-hub did.

When I left this relationship I did try to have a long distance connection with someone from my past. It didn’t work for many reasons, one being I’d been used to the way things were before I got married. I was not prepared for the dirty dick and contaminated coochie culture circulating in today's society. Kickin it, swapping fluids and just bold living all play a part into my remaining single.

When I moved to Ohio I attempted another long distance relationship with someone that I really thought I loved. This person and I became soul tied and I Hated every minute of it. I knew he was a liar, cheater and just not a good person. But for some reason I could not stay away from him. At first I thought we were mature adults that could be honest with each other. The time we spent together was very interesting.

Talking about this man in full detail isn’t necessarily the goal here. The lesson is the best topic. My naive, open, caring, loyal and loving self could not change who I was even though I should have. My intentions were pure however their constant manipulation, deflection, gaslighting and not being accountable is a sure turn off. Sometimes people want their five courses of the opposite sex.

That’s everyone’s choice, just make sure you choose wisely. The last time I spent the night with this person someone rang their bell nonstop for what seemed an hour. That was a sonic boom to get the hell away from this man. They themselves had stepped into some real toxic shit which caused me to jump ship. We continued to speak after that because we just couldn’t let go. Both of us had baggage from our past experiences that helped in us bonding.

One day I did an unbinding ritual to break the connection and crushing that Love Dust. Now when they enter my mind the thoughts are fleeing. There’s no emotional connection between them and me. It's very refreshing. Being the human I am, I wish all my past relationship experiences the very best! They all brought something to my life. For that I’ll be forever grateful, thankful, happy and blessed to have been a part of their journey. TheEducatedTrophyWife was discovered during the transition from my marriage.

When I researched toxic relationships the signs were all there in the description. Dishonesty, manipulation, feeling unhappy, distrust, feeling unhappy, gaslighting, holding the relationship hostage, jealousy, insufficient support and ignoring my needs are all factors I’ve experienced which usher in my decision to remain single. There’s several dangerous signs you may be in a toxic situation that did not apply in my relationship. Protect your energy, save your mental and physical health because they will drain you.

If you need more information on how to cope or exit a toxic relationship here’s an article about the subject. This website will always be a place to discover coping strategies for enlightenment, elevation and self awareness. https://www.ramseysolutions.com/relationships/toxic-relationship-signs