StepParenting Nah…

Full Disclaimer: The four last paragraphs were written and posted on 3-8-2018 two years after my divorce. When we moved from Philly to Florida in 2004, it was after my husband’s son graduated from high school. When we married I wanted to live in New Orleans where we traveled for our honeymoon.

Upon arriving in NOLA my spirit sang so loud I wanted to pack up everything and move. But my X-hub’s son was 8 at the time. Even though I knew my childhood trauma made me a dangerous woman, I remained in the place that caused it unselfishly for love. Right decision for them wrong for my wellness.

Today, I still believe having step families can be sticky and crunchy. When the parents involved have “last place anxiety”, lack high self esteem and harbor disdain for the other parent there will be chaos. It’s exhausting, painful and not worth the energy these situations can drain from you.

Step Parenting Nah… By Sabrina Michelle

3-18-2018

During my marriage I was never a stepparent to X-hub’s son. Being a stepparent never interested me. Both my parents married other people, a year apart, on the same day. Mommy one upped Daddy by marrying first. My stepfather was the sweetest man. He was kind, funny, a great cook, outdoorsy, and a good father.

Mommy had a son with him when I was twelve. After my brother was born my stepfather treated me the same. My stepmother however, was envious of me and my father’s relationship. She felt I kept Daddy’s secrets. This put me in a awkward position since I was living in their house. How do you chose when the other parent isn’t related?

Let’s just say I was loyal to Daddy and minded my business. I was a child caught in grown folks mess. I was accused by my stepmother of keeping my father’s secrets. Hold up! How am I responsible? She called me everything but my given name. I called my mother on her. Oh BOY! Mommy felt my stepmother should have known who she was marrying, instead of attacking me verbally. It became an ugly situation.

By age 14 I knew I did not want to be a stepparent. The insecurity, regulation, disrespect, third party input, you can take care of my child but don’t be a parent, and the hate stepparents deal with is too much drama. THEEDUCATEDTROPHYWIFE has a “NO DRAMA” policy.