We Outside

Full Disclaimer: Last weekend a country road trip was required and much needed. This particular week I had plans with someone I love in the city but chose not to go. They did not know I’m currently in trauma therapy because they themselves need it as well. It’s a thing one can only see if you’ve experienced or explored the subject. Not only am I a survivor, I'm a Holistic Life Coach for healing via experience, education and studies which always yields to mental health professionals. Setting boundaries through this work is difficult, much needed and rewarding.

Since Covid I’ve become more of an introvert which allowed childhood trauma to paralyze me, keeping me from people, places and things I love. Throughout this experience working on self awareness has opened my eyes to seeing as much of the world as possible. Riding as a passenger gives me the opportunity of having visuals that last a lifetime. As I glanced at my driver a smile so broad occupied my face knowing we’re making more memories together. We love the scenic route, always have. We used to only count how many license plates from different states and vehicles we’d see. Now we count how many crops, farms and hospital signs we pass. Each time we entered another state I’d Google which crops grew in the area. How many farms exist and if there’s a toxic pipeline nearby. How many diesel trucks drive those routes and why not. It was a reflective design of my journey allowing me to treasure my experience, exposure and different environments I’ve lived.

During the entire drive we appreciated the ability to open our windows on the trip, inhaling and exhaling clean air. The car ride was reminiscent of my childhood. A time when going outside included activities other than posting on social media, doubting oneself based on lies and deception which has lead our community to mental health issues and suicidal tendencies. It also reminded me of growing up in a community where everyone on the block was involved in keeping the community safe, clean, fun and informed of the political office holders to call if they needed something addressed. During this time each neighbor spoke to at least someone on the block so everyone was on one accord for stability and greatness. Then things changed from a time when families joined together, the trees disappeared, fresh air and visual imagery became less…

From my perspective it was going to happen simply because we started staying inside, no longer filled with joint courage. “Stop Snitching” was encouraged by the lack of care or protection from the police to help the Philly community living under the rule of double oppression. As time passed the Black communities began fearing the outside with the JBM(Junior Black Mafia), 49th Street, Jamaican Shower Posse, Uptown, South Philly and several others all warring within city limits. THEEDUCATEDTROPHYWIFE was a part of the We Outside Crew for real! Ha! Outside of city limits at my Aunt’s house in Pemberton, NJ. Getting fresh air and exercise! Watching Air Shows, eating fresh fruit, barbecue chicken, going swimming and seeing farms but in Philly dating and socializing with dangerous men who transported drugs. When I had my first child I knew I couldn't expose them to such trauma from a life I respected but never glorified.

For me it was my only way to control how they’d see the world as a whole. It was and still is important for them to find outside appealing, healing, needed and required for physical, mental as well as community wellness.* fs.usda.gov A Safe, clean, thriving environment is key. Maybe staying inside should change? Have we learned nothing since COVID-19? All those fancy handbags, smell good, clothes and shoes were worthless with limited places to go. We’re still under oppressive conditions from police, politicians and posers playing in our faces. Let’s get outside, take back our neighborhoods so kids can play safely at a playground, park or pool. Demand they open community centers and share your craft or gift with the next generation. Get involved in community action, start a Citizen’s Review Board in your city instead of sitting on your social media, in front of the TV, on the phone complaining about issues people outside face alone! Move YOUR ASS! Instead of your mouth, painting a false narrative, hating yourself, your children, your mama, your mama’s mama, your life, this one and that one!

I’m very proud to have been country born, city raised, street trained and college educated because it’s helped me pass this zest for life to my children! I walk with boundless gratitude for two parents considered a menace to society and neglectful parents which I’m still processing through trauma therapy. No matter how long it takes no therapy will ever convince me when we were outside it wasn’t for an educated reason. Granted it may have been lessons, learned and living that have cost me what some may see as invaluable. HoweverI’m still here with my truth to help others. No filter needed, created or fabricated. I have the receipts. There’s 12 twelve signs of repressed childhood trauma. This link below explains each. Peace be with you All!

https://www.soberish.co/signs-of-repressed-childhood-trauma-in-adults/

Location: Wissahickon Park Philadelphia, Pa